11-10-09

Well, I don't have a brain tumor, this really is my personality!

Yeah, no mets, just a glowing lymph node which is no surprise.

Taking the kids out to celebrate!

11-10-09

Is it weird that I keep expecting my port to vibrate when I get a phone call?

11-9-09

Dealt with some depression this weekend, not having anything to do or anywhere to be is NOT good for me. But I did manage to pull out of it with a little pep talk from a friend.

Today, I went to a "Look Good, Feel Better" class, or a "how to not look like the walking dead while on chemo" class. Got some good tips and a bunch of free make-up. A little freaked out about eyebrows falling out. I can't imagine how you draw eyebrows on without them looking fake, or sliding down your face if your make-up runs. I am thinking I may just get bigger glasses, cover up the lack of eyebrows.

Also got a wig today from the ACS. The color is good, hopefully I can tweak the style. So I have the wig, some caps, still scarf shopping, I am just too cheap to pay $20 for a square of fabric.

Tomorrow I see the surgeon for follow up so he can check the port. Mastectomy scar still has one small spot that hasn't closed up. Then onto oncology to set up chemo schedule. I will get results of PET scan also, I could talk about the possibility of getting news that the cancer has spread...

But I won't.

11-06-09

For whatever reason, I was in a pretty good mood yesterday. I guess I just didn't realize how the anxiety of the port placement was getting to me. With the mastectomy and the hematoma surgery, I was ready for those, let's cut the bad stuff out. But with the port, I felt like I was volunteering for additional discomfort.

On the bright side, screwing up my left arm has done wonders for my right arm. I am not even aware of right arm discomfort!

11-5-09

Actually woke up feeling slightly renewed. I shouldn't have to be cut open again for awhile. That aspect is done. I am ready to start chemo, hopefully next week.

The port hurts, kinda in the left shoulder and chest area, not real bad, but not pleasant. I am taking 1/2 a pain pill, I don't have to drive anywhere today and I don't want to be uncomfortable and grumpy. I am grateful my neck doesn't hurt, apparently my port is placed a little differently than what I had read about.

11-4-09

PET scan done and port put in today, it has been a long day. I am hoping the port won't make me too sore on the left side since the right side is still not up to snuff.

11-03-09

Today I go for my echocardiogram and see the surgeon to see if my infection is cleared up enough for him to put the port in tomorrow.

Yesterday, I had a major haircut, from shoulder length to 2 inches long. I figured it would be easier to transition to bald if there was a rest stop on the way. Plus, I have always wondered what I would look like with short hair. I figured if I hated it, it would be gone in a few weeks anyway.

I am morphing into something else... oddly, I am becoming more comfortable with what I am becoming. The stress comes when I try to appear "normal" to make everyone else more comfortable.