Tuesday, March 29, 2011


Tonight, there is a specialist coming to Gilda's Club to talk to the parents and answer any questions we may have. I was contemplating my possible questions and just started weeping.

How do I know how fucked up the kids are from the cancer? They seem OK, but I am sure it altered their trajectory somehow, even a slight bit.

My sister and I have been estranged since right before my diagnosis. She was having a midlife crisis thing, affair, divorce, blah blah, I just didn't have a lot of sympathy for her. If that makes me a bitch, then OK, I am a bitch. Then, I was diagnosed and it changed nothing, we remained estranged.

The thing that has always chapped my ass about that year was that she NEVER checked on my children. She could have taken them out for a pizza, had them hang out with her kids for the day, she could have lifted a finger to give them a break from their constant reality. To put it in perspective, my kids are homeschooled, they are with me 24 hours a day, Monday - Friday (they spend weekends with their Dad). Anyway, the kids dealt with living in my cancer crap all damn day. They could have used a break. They could have used an Aunt to get them out of the house every once in a while. (Other Aunt did help me with chemo crud and did help the kids with things they needed).

All the shit with sister doesn't matter anymore. We don't talk, we don't ...anything. I don't care about the specifics of her affair, divorce etc. She was a shitty Aunt to my kids.

Glad I got that out, now on to my day.

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