Thursday, April 28, 2011


I am doing such a bad job of blogging, I think I am trying to get away from the cancer crap.

The other day, Big Onc's office called to schedule a PET scan. My blood all fell to my feet as I stood there. I realized that everyone seems to think this should all be put behind me, I even try to live like it is all in the past. But...that call meant that it is still very much a thing of the present.

On the health front, I feel pretty shitty. I have had a headache since the first of the year. They have done a CT scan and it showed a sinus thing on one side (the side that hurts). I thought this was great news and that it would be a quick fix. Well, it didn't get fixed with the sinus stuff the NP gave me, so we are trying a new med just targeting the headache and not the sinus.

My eyeball pressure is responding well to the drops, so it is not the cause of the headaches either.

Oh, but I did come out of "chemo-pause". My period started again after 15 months. I am hoping that this will jump start something in my system, make something , anything, feel different.

I am trying, really, to live my life like this was all just a bump in the road. It all just seems a little like getting a new paint job for a car destined for the demolition derby.