Friday, April 9, 2010


I have had five medical appointments this week. I am tired and want to relax. So, it is Friday evening, I don't have to see any doctors for a few days. The phone rings and it is the automated service to remind me of my next chemo. They call every freaking Friday night, that just makes me crazy. Let me have my little cancer free weekend.

I had one of those experiences that I find amusing, but I am odd. Someone is telling me how brave breast cancer survivors are and how we are the strongest women they know, yada, yada, yada. First, I don't love the term "survivor", I am not sure I am a cancer survivor until I die of something else. Second, I am not brave, I just show up.

Brave, to me, that sounds like you walked into danger for the greater good. I did not do that. I was minding my own business when cancer opened fire on me. What the hell else am I supposed to do but grab a gun and fire back??

And it seems to be that us "cancer survivors" are expected to be more profound thinkers than the general public. That since we have come face to face with our mortality, that we should be more grounded. I am of the opinion that we are very normal, some of us are assholes, some of us are enlightened, we are just people with a lot more doctors appointments than most.

Unless I missed out on something. Do they hand you the pathology report and also attach the secret to inner peace? My pathology report was missing that page.

My path report, the report of my path.... I commented on this a long time ago. Maybe I was supposed to get the Ghandi page. But I didn't... who is collating this stuff?

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