Things are starting to feel "normal". They talk about the "new normal" you have after cancer, or any big life changing event, I suppose. After my divorce, it took awhile to get my bearings. This experience is very similar feeling.
We are not doing much in the way of Christmas. You can't even tell it is 3 days before the holiday if you look in my house. No tree, no cookies, no stockings...nada. Last year, I did it up big, I was in the "I have cancer and this might be my last Christmas" mode. This year, we are redecorating. My children have shared a bedroom all of their lives. Their Christmas present in their getting their own rooms! I am moving my bedroom down to the den and giving them the two bedrooms.
My house looks like a disaster area as we are moving furniture, painting, refinishing furniture. And I am experiencing personal growth as I let the kids help me paint and am not worried about drips on the base boards!
I am having a lot of trouble breathing. It could be my radiated lung issue aggravated by the dust and paint fumes we are all breathing. That is a little depressing, breathing is so nice. But, I am not freaking out about possible lung tumors and shit.