9-28-09

Busy day today, trying to get something going with my insurance issues. On the insurance front, there is good news and bad news. The details are boring and the stress with continue tomorrow.

On the crappy cancer front, I received a copy of one of the initial pathology reports and I am ER and PR negative, which is not good news. UNLESS, it has not metastized. As long as it is in the breast, which is coming off anyway, hopefully the ER/PR status won't matter.

I made the mistake of doing some googling after seeing my path report, I saw alot of "You are going to die" things. Well, they didn't really say that, but that is what I saw. So I will stay in delusional land that it is only in the breast and when the breast is gone, so shall the cancer be gone.

A friend from church called and wants to bring meals, that is what you do for dying people, I don't like that.

I have struggled with trying to fight this efficiently, a big one, two, TKO. Taking it step by step is not my strong suit. Today, I am prepared to have the entire right side of my body amputated, remove and destroy any contaminated areas.

I was in a house when the clothes dryer caught fire. I realized today that the main thing is get the fire out. No one called Sears for a replacement while the dryer was aflame. No one considered laying new tile on the floor to repair the damage while the dryer burned. First step, call 911, get the fire extinguisher and stop the fire.

So as much as I would like to TKO this thing and call it a day, I realize that we must put the fire out, check the electrical, check the lint vent, once that is all clear, then we can repair the cosmetic damage and get a dryer. I am not patient.

On a wonderful note, I did finally make contact with a human being that may help me. She is the "Breast Health Navigator" at the hospital and helped steer me in the right direction on my insurance issues. Plus, she has a handout of the exercises I will be able to do for rehab and a handy little camisole with a nice cushy fake boob sewed it for after surgery. My children are concerned about seeing me with a "cyclop boob" so having something while I wait for the "foob" (which you wear in your bra) will make everyone more comfortable.

The clock is ticking fast, pre-op tomorrow at the hospital, another appointment about the insurance issue and another day will be gone.

Should I have made a "bucket list" for my boob?