Tuesday, September 29, 2009

9-29-09 continued

Did my pre-ops at the hospital, not pleasant.

People keep telling me that G-d will get me through this, but if I don't make it through this, does that mean that my faith is lacking? I do feel that I can use faith to give me strength to get through this, but I don't like the implication that only the "worthy" make it through to being cancer-free.

I mowed the yard today, that felt good, a "normal Melinda" activity. I usually do some good thinking on the mower. I had a decent cry, did some mourning and then went on about my business. I did have the crappy realization that this surgery may not be the end of this mess, but may be just the beginning.

I didn't like that.

There is a lot of "hurry up and wait", rush to get this test, then wait....rush to this procedure, then wait....rush to surgery, the wait for the path reports to tell me if I have more treatment in my future.

The path report, the paper that outlines the future path...how about that?

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