9-16-10

Going to see Big Onc today, getting my IV infusion and let him check on me and see how I am doing. I see surgeon tomorrow, I have no idea what is going to happen with Clyde. He is more integrated into my body, either my body is eating him, or he is eating me.

I did the fashion show, it was long and anti-climatic. But, the kids really enjoyed seeing me, they kept saying how proud they were. I guess I was able to convey to them that beauty is an attitude and if their overweight, boobless, chemo fluff haired Mom can feel good enough to work a runway (a tiny runway), than they can feel wonderful at any stage of their life.

I took the kids to the State Fair last night, my sister and I and four kids. I had some extra kids since school let out early. I spent way too much money but I think we all had a blast. Morgan said she had no idea her Mom was so fearless! My favorite ride was down for repairs, the Gravitron. We'll have to find one somewhere else to try out.

At the end of the fashion show, we had to hold up signs that showed how long we had been cancer free. Mine said "Hope to be soon", that was a little depressing. I was looking at all these vivacious women, beautiful and spirited and felt bad about being fuzzy and tired. I had to remind myself to cut myself some slack. Many of those wonderful women were years out from their treatment. But it did give me a glimpse of what I may feel like one day soon.

The kids received their TCAP scored back. They were not as great as the last set, but they were still proficient in everything. I felt bad that they didn't score advanced, but again, I had to remind myself to cut myself some slack. I home schooled them through surgery, chemo and radiation and they have not fallen below grade level. Even if they were in school, the stress that they have been under would affect their test scores.

All in all, it has been a good Mom week.