9-22-10

"Well, it's cancer", NOT Clyde, but that is what the Surgeon said a year ago today.

It is my cancerversary. (I still don't know what Clyde is, I'll find out Friday).

Looking back, the fear really is the worst part. Yes, there is physical pain involved, there is a whole lot of suckiness that has happened. But the fear really is the worst part. Maybe that is because they have drugs for all the other stuff, pain, anxiety, constipation, diarrhea, nausea, radiation burns.... There isn't anything for the terror you feel.

September is a big month for me, many anniversaries. My birthday, my wedding, my exhusband moving out, 9/11, cancer diagnoses, big stuff happens to me in September.

The main thing I am feeling right now is thankful for this break. I don't know what is going to happen. I could learn Friday that I have another battle coming up (although I really don't think so, I think the biopsy will be negative). I think sometime in October, I may get another scan. But for now, I have a break, no treatments, just some healing time.

I had a great day with the homeschooling yesterday, we just sat around the table learning and laughing. The kids seem to be doing well, maybe this will just be a little blip in their childhood memory bank.

Helluva blip.