Thursday, February 10, 2011


I had my last IV Herceptin treatment yesterday. I don't think I did it right, I was supposed to be all happy and jolly that it was my last infusion. Instead, I felt like I imagine the inmate does after DNA clears him and he is released with a "Sorry, we screwed up, go live a life".

So I spent all this time and energy fighting to live and now I need to go out

I think my problem may be in what I assume they mean by live. I think I assume they mean that I am supposed to be like the women in tampon commercials, all dancing on the beach, running in the forest, rolling around on white sheets.

Tampon commercial moments....those are what I am missing from my life.

I have even considered the "fake it till you make it" theory of life. But, what if all these people out there are also faking it, trying to look like the tampon commercials.

So now I am crocheting doilies. I don't need doilies. They just keep me busy. While I wait.

I feel a break through coming on.

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