Thursday, October 7, 2010


I woke up thinking about the boob vs teeth thing.

There is no great philosophical meaning, I realized. I have insurance that will cover a boob, but I don't have insurance that will fix my teeth. I can't justify sinking money into my mouth when both the kiddos need braces.

I get my IV treatment today, I will ask Onc about when I get my next scan. I am enjoying my stay of execution. I get nervous when I hear about people who recur shortly after finishing treatment.

But, I think cancer is kinda like that car in the blind spot. When I am about to change lanes, it always scares the shit out of me when I realize a car was in my blind spot. I have learned always to check, don't trust the review mirror. Something as big as a car was right there but I didn't know it. My brain assumed I was clear to change lanes, but it wasn't.

It all feeds back to my wonder at how fluid 'reality' is.

My sister-in-law is having surgery next week, may have uterine cancer, they need to get in there and check out this tumor she has. We have talked about the fear, the fear is worse than the treatment. This week, she can believe it is not cancer. Next week, she may not have that option (at least not without illegal drugs). The tumor will not have changed, just her reality.

Maybe that is what all this pink shit is about in October, bathe our fears in pink and it will all be OK.

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