11-8-10

Turns out is not not easy to just "not worry". I saw the scan results, I can't un-see them. I don't think I will make it two more weeks before asking Big Onc. My appt with him is the 18th. Do I call and give him a heads up about my concern, see if he will discuss it over the phone??

A little scab thing formed over Clyde, I think it just got poked too much the week I saw Onc and Plastic Surgeon. The scab feel off this morning and now there is a slight opening that is a tad weepy. Just the slightest bit, I wouldn't normally think twice about it. But....since this is in the radiated, crispy, pork rind section of my body, I have visions of it growing into a large necrotic wound.

And.... I was having "adult relations" this weekend. I was on top and his hands reached for my breasts. There was that split second of hesitation as he decided where to put the second hand. I doubt he realized it, but I did. I won't mention it, I do believe that men don't like having to spend time reassuring women. the lack of a breast is probably less of an issue than my potential insecurity about it.

I did ask him about his opinion on reconstruction after I saw Plastics guy. I said he was in an interesting position of being able to have input on creating his dream boobs. He seemed indifferent...could that be? Is no boob preferable to a Franken-boob?

Questionable scans, weepy pork rind sores, Franken-boobs....oh yea, no worries.