Saturday, November 14, 2009


Yesterday, I met with the research nurse and signed up for being a breast cancer guinea pig. I did find out that due to my glowing lymph node, I am now a stage IIIc which is as close as being a stage IV as you can get. I would prefer if someone would just pluck this node out before it gets too comfortable. But maybe the node will act as a good marker to see if chemo is working.

Still having insurance issues, they won't pay for that $3K shot that keeps your white blood cell counts up. So, I may get a terrible infection that will result in a hospital stay which will cost more that the $3K. But I have to keep believing that everything is happening as it should and that it will all be OK. I don't kow what "OK" means, and I am working on letting go of that need to control "OK". My definition of OK meant raising my kids to adulthood, that really didn't seem like too much to ask.

Two of my neighbors have been robbed this week. I would like to post a note on the door "Dear Robbers, I am a single mom with cancer, I don't have any good stuff for you to take. If you have to break in, please don't let the cats run outside, losing the cats would devastate my children".

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