10-14-09

I am still havig significant pain, it wakes me up in the night. I just can't get the swelling to stop. I don't care about chemo, hair loss, puking, getting back to work... I just want this swelling to go down. If I could put the drains back in myself, I would, and I hated those damn drains.

My 12yo wanted to talk about the baldness that may be in my future. I have told them "If you hear Mommy talk about something that concerns you, please come ask me, don't assume something and worry, ask me for the info."

Apparently, I made a flip remark about a pretty scraf and said something about how that may be good for my bald period. 12yo DD heard that and we talked about what chemo may entail. So they wanted to do one of those virtual make-overs on the computer to see what I would look like bald. I wasn't ready for all that last night, maybe today. I don't know whether that would be a healing activity or just a scary one for them.

Man, I wish someone could just stick a pin in me a release all this fluid.