10-20-09

On the physical front, the front being where my problem is (LOL), went back to surgeon and he removed the drain again today. For whatever reason, he says I cannot develop another hematoma. That if I swell up again it truly is a case of me growing a new boob which would be a medical mystery.

He is pleased with my armpit (pleased with his work, probably would prefer it clean shaven). He will see me again in two weeks to discuss port placement.

Port placement... that means chemo...this is getting real. I knew chemo was in the future but now the hour draws closer. I see oncologist next week to discuss the plan. Up until now, I have considered myself a "surgical patient", next week, I will become an "oncology patient".

I am still very detached from my cancer. My breast had cancer, so we chopped it off. My Lymph system has cancer so we will poison it. I, me, Melinda, don't feel like I have cancer.

I did read that mosquitos and fleas don't bite people having chemo, I wonder if I will be done with chemo by spring. Seems a shame to not take advantage of the insect repellant properties.

I am just a little burned out feeling today. For some reason, I was really dreading this drain removal. The drain itself was just real uncomfortable. The last two were just an irritation, this one was really bugging me.

But it is gone, so no more excuses. no slouching, no holding my arm like I have had a stroke, time to get up straight, rehab that shoulder and maybe even wear and outfit that fits. I have been wearing huge shirts to cover the drain bulge. I want to wear a regular bra and clothes that fit.

Speaking of regular bras, I came up with an idea. How about a bra with heaving bosom on one side and beer couzie on the other, should be every mans dream!